Wellness Wellness

Joe Byram Makes Team Canada!

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A guest-post from Yogalife Studios sponsored athlete Joe Byram, swimmer extraordinaire.  We couldn't be more proud of you!  Amazing work.  

Click here to read more on his placement on Team Canada.


 

After focusing all year on performing at Trials, I managed to qualified for the Canadian Senior National Team going to the 2014 Pan Pacific Championships in Gold Coast, Australia, taking place in late August.

 

The year was a tough balance, with a training schedule that consisted of approximately 16 hours in the pool (on the low end for swimmers), 3 hours in the weight room, and 1-2 hours in the yoga studio.  Meanwhile, I took four courses in the fall, five courses in the winter, to pursue an honours degree in Political Science. We focused on recovering from workouts this year, rather than overloading and overtraining, to ensure that I could perform at meets without resting or shaving (yes, swimmers shave all their body hair…ALL of it...)

 

At our CIS Championships, I performed well considering that I was one of the only athletes at the meet that wasn’t shaved and tapered. So although my times were circumstantially good, I placed lower than I had hoped. As someone who strives every day to put myself on the podium, it was hard to take. But all sights were on Trials, so I re-centered myself, and focused on training for 6 weeks.

 


The patience paid off.


 

I swam to a personal best of half a second, winning a bronze medal in the 100m backstroke. While I was .02 from 2nd, I was happy with my performance, winning my first medal at a “trials” meet, and adding to my bronze from last summer’s nationals.

 

Because of my young age, and a complicated selection process, the swim was enough to put me on the team heading to Australia this summer. While I missed out on Commonwealth Games in Scotland, I am grateful to have achieved this major step in my development as an athlete. It gives me the motivation to swim faster, while enjoying a bit of validation for my hard-work and dedication to the sport I love.

 

Now I am focusing on finishing up my third year of school, and getting back to training. If the snow ever goes away, I add in running, stairs, and tennis (and of course more yoga!) to my program, to spice things up. I am heading down to Vancouver for a competition in May, then to California for a meet or two in June. It’s going to be really hard this summer…California, then Australia…What a hard and boring job I have…!

 


Making the team fuels my passion to succeed, both for myself, and now for my country. Yogalife has helped me balance this sometimes overwhelming desire to win with a satisfaction in my current self.


Being able to overcome personal boundaries while my entire body is dripping with sweat (and Sara’s tauntingly cheerful core sequences…) helps me to become a better athlete, and to enjoy all the little moments in training, and in racing. It helps prepare me for unexpected stresses and complications in life, and to be able to find calm, even when trips to exotic destinations and high-profile competitions are on the line.

 


I’ve developed into a more mature and centered athlete through yoga, and will continue to build on the lessons of sport, yoga, school, and life, to help me achieve my goals both in and out of the pool.


Stay tuned for more updates on Joe's successes and experiences throughout the summer!

 

Check out this video we created awhile back introducing Joe to the Yogalife Studios Athlete Sponsorship Program.

Yogalife's First Sponsored Athlete - Swimmer Joe Byram from Yogalife Studios on Vimeo.

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Core Shri

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Core work has the potential to place us in moments of spontaneous and unavoidable vulnerability. It’s that quality of the practice alone that has me so drawn to it. My core practice has unraveled parts of myself that needed to be loved, seen and acknowledged.


 

Through the offering of ‘Core Shri - Core Work As A Spiritual Practice,’ my intention is to offer tools for you to empower yourself. In the winter months, I was granted an opportunity to put the teachings of yoga into practice, and what I was given as a result of my willingness to go into the discomfort, was massive self empowerment. My body craved deep core movements. However physically demanding my practice would be, the energetic quality of those movements helped me redefine what being in my center meant for me.

 


Through that willingness to be in discomfort, and surrender into the pain and tenderness of what I was going through, I had discovered an enormously powerful place within. For the first time, maybe ever in my life, I fell in love with myself.


 

Core work as a spiritual practice means allowing yourself to be so in the flow with Spirit that you are constantly empowered in each moment. However that may look or feel. Through getting into your core practice more deeply, you not only strength your body, but your capacity to hold space for your own radical transformations and shifts in life. Getting grounded in your body with a core practice is such a powerful tool to be consistently living the life you deserve. The tools offered in this workshop can be translated into your yoga practice, as well as the way your create your own reality off the mat.

 


The goddess archetype Lakshmi is the embodiment of radiance and luxurious self love. So, in the midst of core intensity, the invitation in this workshop is to soften into that place within that is inherently self nurturing and accepting.


 

Where can we lovingly invite awareness into places within that may have been disowned or pushed aside and instead, fearlessly acknowledge those shadow aspects of the self? We’ll invite this powerful archetype into the practice with some mantra and a short meditation. Simply tools to invite the remembering of that which all ready is.

 


You are already abundant, radiant and magnificent!


 

As movement is highly medicinal, so is knowledge. Charging the core is valuable, but so is an understanding of how these muscles work to get to that place of strength. Simple break downs of your core muscles and the way they work with your breath will be offered to build an even more clear foundation for empowerment. I’ll provide you with take home worksheets that will complement your existing yoga practice, whether it be in studio or at home.

 


How can we each stand stronger within ourselves to offer the gifts and radiance we were truly meant to offer this planet? Where are we holding back from standing in our power and really owning our strengths? Choose to step into yourself and boldly offer your gifts. All via your core practice!


 

Join us for an afternoon of transformation and empowerment Sunday, April 20th from 2:30-5:30 at Yogalife Studios South.

 

If you’re seeking any clarification or have any questions on this workshop, please contact Brittany at b.rudyck@gmail.com

 

In the empowered radiance of Spirit,

Brittany

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Recipe, Wellness Recipe, Wellness

Recipe: Mint Ginger-Ade

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This recipe is perfect for those craving a tummy-settling ginger ale…

One without sugar. Or ale.

Tongue, meet stevia. Mmmm. Sweet, refreshing success. Stevia is great because it doesn’t spike your blood sugar and send you into some foggy-headed, sugary abyss. Plus it has no calories, and contains no sugar. So far, so good.

Ginger is nice and soothing for an upset stomach.

 

And on those two notes we bring you...

 

Mint Ginger-Ade 

(sugar-free, everything else-free)

Ingredients:

A few sprigs of mint

A thumb of grated ginger (I usually just grate and freeze little bits of it)

Juice of one lime

A few drops of stevia, to taste

Sparkling water

 

Directions:

Like you’re making a mojito, muddle the mint, ginger, lime, and stevia. Squish ‘em up real nice. Pour in your sparkling water, and let it soak up the flavours. Stir. Strain into a glass with a few ice cubes, and slurp up the refreshment!

 

Amazing facts about ginger:

 

Maintains Normal Blood Circulation. Ginger contains chromium, magnesium and zinc which can help to improve blood flow, as well as help prevent chills, fever, and excessive sweat.

 

Improves absorption. Ginger improves the absorption and stimulation of essential nutrients in the body. It does this by stimulating gastric and pancreatic enzyme secretion.

 

Combats Stomach Discomfort. Ginger is ideal in assisting digestion, thereby improving food absorption and avoiding possible stomach ache. Ginger appears to reduce inflammation in a similar way to aspirin and ibuprofen

 

Reduce Pain and Inflammation. Ginger contains some of the most potent anti-inflammatory fighting substances known and is a natural powerful painkiller.
Strengthens Immunity. Ginger helps improve the immune system. Consuming a little bit ginger a day can help foil potential risk of a stroke by inhibiting fatty deposits from the arteries. It also decreases bacterial infections in the stomach, and helps battle a bad cough and throat irritation.
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Studio Information Yogalife Team Studio Information Yogalife Team

New Class Reservation Policy

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Hey Yogalifers!

 

We HEAR you!  We definitely do, and have been working hard on solutions for the busy-ness of the studios and being unable to get into your favourite classes!  Or that you have to show up really early for class to be able to get in a spot.

 

We understand that A) That's not the best use of time and B) sometimes you just can't!

 

So here's our new class reservation policy.

 

Class Reservation Policy

Thank you to everyone who provided us feedback about our classes and how busy it's been. We definitely hear you! The studios have been overwhelmingly busy and we know it has been difficult to get into your favourite classes! So we're changing things up a bit to enhance your experience at Yogalife. We want you to get your yoga in without it being so stressful.

  1. We are increasing the number of pre-registrations available for classes so that you can be certain you'll get into class.
  2. We will be charging for no shows (as this happens too often and is unfair for those students who plan to come but is unable to reserve a spot).
  3. If you do know you won't be able to make it, you can call or cancel your reservation up to 5 minutes prior to class.
  4. Pre-Registrations will be allowed up to 3 days prior to class, unfortunately we will no longer allow unlimited future bookings. (Unlimited days = more no shows).
  5. Please note that the 10 minute rule still applies. If you reserve a spot, that spot will be held up until 10 minutes prior to class. At that point, your spot will be given to the next person on the wait list and you will be charged a late cancel. (If you know you will be unable to make it, please give us a call)

We hope these changes will create better accountability for all of us. We really want to provide you the best experience and we understand that it's very disappointing to travel all the way only to find out that you won't be making it into class.


Please bear with us as we continue to adjust and ensure quality experiences.

Sincerely, Caren, Lindsey, Michelle & Sara.

 

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Featured Yogi Of The Month: Maya Japa Kaur

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If you've had the pleasure of meeting and practicing with Maya Japa Kaur then you know she is just that: a pleasure.  She is the co-visionary of YEG Bloom, a project where intention and action meet to create the space for inspired potential.  You can find her sprinkled around town, sharing her passion for yoga, intention, love and GOODNESS! 


 

How did you get your yogic start? Who brought you to your first class, what was that like, and where was it?

Kundalini Yoga 2002. Did seva work in exchange for my TT and started subbing by 2004.

Angelica Sarkisyan brought me to my first yoga class, “Free Yoga in the Park” at Runyon Canyon in Los Angeles. Was the best tuesday morning of my life. Yoga and Hike.

 

Share a favourite quote, lesson, or teaching that inspires you.

“Patience Pays” By Yogi Bhajan

 

What's your favourite music to practice to (or do you prefer silence!?)

Any dub remix of hit or indie songs is best for asana practice and Aykanna is perfect for Kriya meditaion practice.

 

Your favourite books, yogi-inspired and fiction?

“The 40 Rules of Love” by Elif Shafak, a novel of Rumi. Changed my life.

 

Tell us about your first teacher training.

Transformational! I did my Kundalini Yoga Level 1 TT and I came out the other end amplified and connected to self in a way unfamiliar to my

old self. WOW.

 

Where's your favourite vacation spot?

Tulum, Mexico

 

What is your favourite meal to make and share with friends?

Mexican Quesadillas and guacamole. “TASTE"

 

What's the coolest experience you've ever had with a student?

Witnessing her quit her job, dump the chump and travel to India with me and now living her dream and teaching yoga.

 

What's your favourite pose/sequence/area of the body to work on?

#BackBends!! more of a love/hate relationship ;)

 

Who inspires you?

My powerhouse girlfriends on the internet and in 3D. Gabrielle Bernstein, Danielle LaPorte, Jacki Carr and Ashly Albrand. AND my life partner, Robindra. Who on the daily inspires me to be a better, joyous and compassionate being of light.

 

What is your favourite festival to attend?

Topanga Days Festival. Everyone comes together and sets on the lawn and watches the community put on a wicked show.

 

If you could study with one person who would it be and why?

Paramahansa Yogananda. Read “Autobiography of a Yogi” and you’ll understand why ;)

 

What is the best concert you've ever been to?

Bjork at the Hollywood bowl VIP baby. #Besssht

 

Share your favourite self-healing practice.

Meditation! Heal the mind and you heal the body.

 

Share one of your life goals.

Move to Sevilla, Spain and open up a Yoga Studio Co-op. 10 Year Goal. #CrushingIT

 

Where's the next place you want to travel?

Bail or Peru. They are both ringing in LOUD.

 

Biggie or Tupac? hah

Tupac. LA homie.

 

Namaste Myrah!

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Curious About Kale?

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Adapted from MindBodyGreen


Every so often there seem to be these "all the rage" foods that come along and flood our radar.  The current superstar on the block?  BEAUTIFUL LEAFY GREEN KALE!  Whether you're ordering it at a restaurant, cramming it in your smoothie or massaging it for salad, there is a reason this vegetable is getting serious attention.  Here's 10 facts about kale that may get you on board or confirm what you already know.


1. Kale is low in calories, high in fiber and has zero fat.  One cup of kale has only 36 calories, 5 grams of fiber and 0 grams of fat.  With its high fiber content, it aids in digestion and elimination and is also filled with so many nutrients, vitamins, folate and magnesium.

  2. Kale is high in iron.  Per calorie, kale has more iron than beef, which is essential for good health (formation of hemoglobin and enzymes, transporting oxygen to various parts of the body, cell growth, proper liver function and more).
  3. Kale is high in Vitamin K.  Eating a diet high in Vitamin K can help protect against various cancers.  It is also necessary for a wide variety of bodily functions including normal bone health and the prevention of blood clotting.
  4. Kale is filled with powerful antioxidants.  Antioxidants, such as carotenoids and flavonoids, help protect against various cancers.
  5. Kale is a great anti-inflammatory food.  Just one cup of kale is filled with 10% of the recommended daily dose of omega-3 fatty acids, which help fight against arthritis, asthma and autoimmune disorders.
  6. Kale is great for cardiovascular support.  Eating more kale can help lower cholesterol levels.
  7. Kale is high in Vitamin A.  Vitamin A is great for your vision and skin as well as helping to prevent lung and oral cavity cancers.
  8. Kale is high in Vitamin C.  This is very helpful for your immune system, your metabolism and your hydration.
  9. Kale is high in calcium.  Per calorie, kale has more calcium than milk, which aids in preventing bone loss, preventing osteoporosis and maintaining a healthy metabolism.
  10. Kale is a great detox food.  Kale is filled with fiber and sulfur, both great for detoxifying your body and keeping your liver healthy.

 

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Wellness Wellness

Food For Thought

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You are what you eat!  Bringing awareness and cleanliness to your diet supports the processes that keep you going strong.  How many of these foods do you already eat?  What can you consciously incorporate more of?  Just some food for thought!  Bon appetit!

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Cleansing Your Vessel

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I just finished my lunch and it was DELICIOUS.  I chewed slowly and enjoyed every single bite.  This was day one back on a regular eating schedule after a 9 day colon cleanse that included 5 days of no solid foods.  During this 5 days I only ingested a powdered combo of bentonite clay, psyllium husk, apple pectin and ginger shaken up in 8 ounces of organic apple juice followed by all the water in the world.  I dumped this stuff down my throat starting right when I woke up in the morning and then every 3 hours after, 5 times a day.  I would consider this an extreme form of cleansing but my conditions that led me here were also extreme and this was sort of my last resort.  We'll get back to that.


In hindsight this was one of the best things I have ever done for myself and will complete this same cleanse at least once a year.


Let's rewind a moment and start thinking about the idea of cleansing and restoring the body.  As we move into Spring (internally and on the calendar, not outside) we are entering a time of renewal.  After a long winter of hibernation and perhaps lethargy, it feels really good to start sloughing off some of the excess.


In winter we nourish and conserve our qi (life force) so we are ready to burst into this next phase of growth and awakening.


Various healing methodologies (Ayurveda, Naturopathy, Traditional Chinese Medicine) know that  our energy mirrors that of the changing seasons.  Just as little green buds (eventually) pop from the trees and bring new life, our internal regeneration process is craving detoxification and cleansing so that we too can emerge with new buds.

So back to the colon cleanse...  I chose Blessed Herbs (available at Noorish or online) which comes with a shaker jar for my 5-times-daily concoction, all the little packets easily divvied up as well as digestive stimulator capsules (a fancy way of saying laxatives) and my user's guide.  This cleanse is intended to be simple and straightforward and I really appreciated the amount of positive feedback and testimonies (alongside some serious pictures of people's "success") available on their website.

In the past two weeks I have learned tons about my colon and have delighted in sharing this knowledge with others (perhaps against their will!).

In most vertebrates, the colon is the last part of the digestive system.  It is responsible for three functions: absorb sodium and water, incubate beneficial bacteria and eliminate waste.  Amazingly is it a little more than five feet long and hosts ten times the amount of bacteria in the intestines than there are cells in the human body.  THESE are the kind of facts your friends and family can't wait to hear!!!

The following is information that I found quite fascinating from my user's manual:

It is common after years of eating to build up mucoid plaque on the walls of our intestines.  This plaque greatly lowers our ability to absorb nutrition and makes our bodies much more toxic.  Mucoid plaque may be a layer or many layers of adhesive, hardened mucus lining the inner walls of the digestive tract.  It can be from less than one-sixteenth of an inch to several inches thick.  It is usually compacted with old fecal matter, bound up toxic waste, 'bad' bacteria, and/or unwanted guests.  The plaque can vary in length anywhere from a few inches to, amazingly, over three or four feet.

Even re-reading this information gets me so excited that this CRAP is out of me!  (I had to have at least one pun in here, come on.)

But seriously, better out than in.  My main personal reason for completing this cleanse and thus starting on the road to cleaner eating in general (including no wheat or dairy) is because I have suffered from eczema for years and years: 15 of them, on and off.  Often, the state of your skin is a reflection of what's going on in your digestive system and how well your body eliminates waste.  After this past few-month bout with eczema I am surprised I even have skin left on my arms to heal... but this body, just like yours, is an amazing vessel.  When you let yourself be healthy and give in to what actually needs to happen, IT WORKS.   I am ecstatic to report that my eczema is 95% GONE and I feel more energetic and alive than ever. When you make a commitment to health, you heal.

 


"I easily release that which I no longer need.  The past is over and I am free" - Louise Hay


 

If you have any other questions about colon cleansing, eczema, eliminative diets, cleansing in general, never hesitate to email me at caitlin@yogalifestudios.ca

 

Is there another cleanse you'd like to see featured on here?  Let us know!

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Wellness Wellness

Spring Cleaning!

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photo credit: Paul Swanson

 

With the vernal (SPRING!) equinox just behind us it is officially that time of year when things melt, change and grow. This is a time to refresh, express, release; generally we find that spring is the best time of year to cleanse our environment, internal and external. As we crack open the windows, get our bikes back on the trails and reclaim the streets with our feet, a sense of rebirth rings through YEG. Finally. And while we may still see snowflakes, the memory lingers of spring's first burst of warm sun that gears us in this positive direction. "It's coming!" we say.


Perhaps we use this time of year to dust off some good old habits or areas of the body that have hibernated through the winter months. Spring proves to be an amazing time to cleanse because of this shift and movement that surrounds everything.


Just as our closets crave to be emptied and rooms yearn to be refreshed with outdoor oxygen, our bodies need the same attention. This can be a daunting task as there are so many options for achieving health... and that's the best part!

Maybe you aren't into a full-scale organ ring-out; try a new recipe or 3-day juice cleanse. Try a new yoga class or get re-inspired to hike, swim, run, dance, MOVE! Again, this doesn't have to be major... Edmonton is bursting with things to do as such a beautiful part of the hibernation process is embracing when it's over.


Spring is the time for reinvention and preparing your crops (Self, life, work, play) for the summer harvest.


Neil Gumenik from The Institute of Classical Five-Element Acupuncture Inc. in Santa Monica shares this beautiful description of spring and its governing element, wood:

 

"As the days become warmer and brighter, nature rouses from her winter slumber and looks ahead to the new growth of spring. The Wood, which has been at rest, storing and concentrating its energy under a winter blanket, now bursts forth with new buds, new life piercing Earth's crust. The swelling Wood of spring initiates rebirth - a surge of rising energy, like the young lamb staggering up to nurse, like the dandelion whose growing edge can burst through concrete if it must. Wood is the energy of youth and growth: a new beginning, a vision of a whole new cycle. The Wood energy of spring is an expression of life at its strongest."

 

Over the next 5 weeks, stay tuned on the blog for an exciting array of information surrounding cleansing, making space, renewal and release! With guest posts, cleanse information, recipes and highlights from your favourite teachers, we aim to inspire movement and merriness in this already awesome season.

 

Namaste!

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Inner Glow Nutrition: Your "Self-Realization" Diet

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We are really excited to announce our new guest blogger,

Nutritionista and Natural Foods Chef - Kristin Fraser!

 

Kristin, a former mechanical engineer, took the plunge and trained in New York City at the Natural Gourmet Institute as a Natural Foods Chef. She is a Certified Holistic Nutritionist as well as Living Foods Instructor and is here to share recipes, education and fun around health and nutrition. Check out her website www.innerglownutrition.ca for more wholesome goodness and to download her free recipe package.

 

Here she shares one of her favourite cookbooks and some insights on how food can affect your own self realization.

Your “Self-Realization Diet”

 


“Food is a mirror: Look into the mirror of what you eat, and you will learn to see yourself.”

– Unknown.


It’s not easy being a health nut – you know, staying on track, avoiding all those temptations you used to love, working at dealing with stress in different ways than you are used to. Slug back a beer or go to yoga… hmmmm… But it sure isn’t easy NOT being one either - having to deal with excess weight creep back or digestive disturbances from poor food choices, or getting what I call “food hangovers” from eating too much sugar, consuming too much caffeine or just eating straight up too much junk.

 


I am consistently humbled by the social workings of the world and how choosing health still seems to be outside of the “norm”. It’s much more normal to fry up the bacon, drink a beer, eat a bunch of cupcakes and puff back a cigarette than to engage in all these healthful activities like eating fresh fruits and vegetables, avoiding sugar and alcohol and practicing yoga or meditation.


It can all seem so boring to some. Well – some more so than others I suppose. But all these negative eating habits can also go hand in hand with emotions like irritability, anxiousness, complacency, or moodiness. When you eat clean, yoga it up, drink lots of fresh water, and spend time in nature you feel amazing, positive and content. Less complaining and more time to self reflect and ask “What can I offer this world?”

In Caroline Marie Dupont’s book “Enlightened Eating” (one of my staple fave recipe books) she goes into not only some delicious ways to prepare whole plant based foods, including desserts and treats but shares a much bigger aspect of what food can bring to your life… what she calls a “Self-Realization Diet”. I love her story because I can completely relate. She writes:

 

“In our shift to a vegetarian whole foods diet, we received many benefits such as increased energy, better digestion and elimination, and improved health in general. However, other unexpected transformations occurred for me – I connected with a deep longing for meaning and authenticity in my life. I seemed to be more aware, more alive, more curious about who I was and how I could fulfill my purpose here.”

 

Not that everyone needs to be a vegetarian to be healthy or experience the shift, but having the awareness that food not just affects energy but how your choices affect your emotional and spiritual wellbeing as well is an important and ongoing step.

 


When you cut out sugar and refined foods you start dealing with the real emotions behind why they were consumed in the first place. There’s a whole lot of self love that needs to come into play and when they break through that – the real glow starts to shine through.


And not from a buzz from a few beers or a high from sugar, but from the pure essence of your “true self”. Think about some dietary changes that you could make to stay on your true path. Are you experiencing your self realization diet?

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Rest & Digest

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Digestion, the actual breaking down of a whole into its parts so that the pure can be extracted and incorporated into the body and the impure can be expelled.


We tend to think of digestion as a physical act of our food being broken down and made into usable energy (ATP) for the body, which it is; however, we tend to forget that we are digesting everything all the time.  We digest emotions, reactions, life events, basically anything that is brought in to the body from the external and is internalized needs to be digested.


When we don't slow down enough to allow the body to shift into our parasympathetic nervous system, rest and digest, we not only literally put our active food digestive system to halt, we don't digest life's events either, both of which get stored in the body in different ways, shapes, and forms, eventually bunging the body up and cause a reaction.


Typically IBS, constipation, diarrhea, acid reflux, indigestion, epigastric discomfort, etc are our digestive tract issues; emotionally we see a restless or dull mind, anxiety, and even depression from lack of glucose able to go to the brain.

How to cure digestive woes? It is a life style.  It is NOT a momentary diet, though these can be helpful to get the digestive system back on track.  If we want to truly nourish our health, it is through our food and it is over our entire life span from the moment we choose to be healthy to the moment we pass on.


It is healthy living, it is choosing to love yourself so much that you only want to put good things into your temple/vessel/body.


People change their diets when they are pregnant so that the baby has a chance to come out healthy, but why do we ourselves not want to be healthy?  Marketing?  Corporations tell us otherwise?  If you are truly wanting to uplift your digestion, you must uplift your Self first, so  eating healthy comes from a place of truth and yearning for well being, not from a place that wants to be skinny so that other people will think you are perfect.


It is meditating so your mind is clear and free of desire, it is avoiding rag mags, tv, and general advertising that makes you think you need to be anything more than your truest self.


At the core of your being, you want to live a fruitful, healthy, happy life and I can guarantee you, that truth does not say " I want McDonald's."

 

Amen, Namaste, Om Sarah Z

 


Sarah is leading the upcoming 'Digestive Restore' workshop at Yogalife Studios North this weekend. This session is full but please stay in touch at info@yogalifestudios.ca to learn about her next one!

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A Hello From Our Wandering Yogi...

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A warm hello, Yogalife Brethren. Graham here, writing to you from about the middle Costa Rica, and from about the middle of my time wandering through Central America. Feels like far too long since I laid a mat down on the floor of the Sun Room, as a student or teacher.


If you don't remember me, I'm the tall bearded one who occupies far too much couch space in the lounge between classes :) I'm also the one who cherishes the experience of slowing down & connecting with people through and after a yin practice. And as it turns out, this softening, clarifying, and surrendering side of yoga has been a medicine that has served me many a time down here in a part of the world that words like 'vibrant,'effervescent' and 'kinda insane' are well applicable to.

After dropping into this 5 month path on the Pacific side of Mexico, where I was honoured to be a guest teacher at Paraiso Yoga in Sayulita (wonderful little surf town, best fish tacos on earth for around $2), my partner Shawna and I started making our way inland, across the continent. The bus systems in Mexico, Belize & Nicaragua are a necessary part of the infrastructure, linking all the small towns to the larger hubs and the coasts, one can travel very cheaply... if one can fold oneself into smallish spaces.


With trips of 8 or 9 hours, frequent was the scene of the two of us spilling out of a bus and flailing our collective limbs with joy, before trying to find the least dusty place on the ground to do pigeon. The hardest part of the pose became trying not to utter groans of contentment that might offend the tender little old ladies selling woven baskets of plantains and avocados in the bus station. Sometimes it had to be done.


Of course, the sometimes discomfort of traveling, the stress of trying to sort schedules and currency in a second language (or the international language of wild hand gestures), the willingness to sometimes consume food that may not be 'Ayurvedic,' may not be best for your 'dosha,' may not in fact look like 'food,' all pale in insignificance to arriving at places like this:

This is a hot springs in the mountains of Central Mexico called Las Grutas Tolantango, and I'm fairly certain that if it wasn't so smack dab in the middle of nowhere, far from the resorts of Acapulco & Cancun, it would be an international tourist destination of the highest regard. If you enjoy the soothing waters of Radium and the Kootenays, the nourishing serenity of this place will feel like coming home, far from it though you may be.

After meeting up with an old friend in Tulum (many of you likely remember Cole as a teacher in the early days of Yogalife, his picture stills adorns the front window of the south studio, and he is just as much the life-affirming ball of happy as he ever was), we made our way down through Belize, which features some of the world's best snorkelling and diving, delicious seafood (recommended: lionfish and conch fritters), and little islands called cayes that are big enough to have reggae bars and yoga studios, but too small to have actual cars. I think the only traffic jam i bore witness to on caye caulker involved a bike and two gold carts trying to get around a mud puddle, and rather than road rage, everyone was just laughing. Apropos for an island whose official motto is 'Go Slow.' We took in many a leisurely sunset in Belize, and since we spent part of our time volunteering at an animal shelter, we always had plenty of canine accompaniment, which we always welcomed. As if we had a choice. Even during an epic gazebo sunset asana photoshoot, they happily wandered wherever. When dogs are having their days, do downward dog :)
And here I now sit, in Costa Rica, after having spent the last week in and around a little town called Uvita, at a little Festival called Envision. Yoga & Permaculture workshops by day, deep dancey music and breathtaking art installations by night. I was blessed to be able to participate in an asana, kirtan (sacred chanting) and ecstatic dance experience led by Suzanne Sterling. She is one of the lights behind a Yoga initiative called Off the Mat, Into the World, and if ever you need some inspirado that our worldwide kula (community) of yogis is manifesting many a wonderful thing, check out her website  http://suzannesterling.com/.
Myself and my friend Josh also led an impromptu vinyasa flow on the beach during low tide, which was attended mainly by people covered in blue volcanic mud. Apparently it's been used homeopathically for generations for skin exfoliation and rejuvenation, all I know for sure is that it's really fun to practice warrior III in. The clay kind of molds to your position and supports you in balancing postures, which we decided was ther best kind of cheating :)

Well, all for now. I'll send another dispatch before landing on the shores of Lake Atitlan for Yogalife's April retreat, led by myself and the inimitably lovely Sara Cueva.


I absolutely CANNOT WAIT to share what I've intuitively received from being able to awake each day, head toward my mat with a new luscious backdrop, and a new's days experiences, both inspiring and challenging, laid out before me. And when I do eventually return to the place I am delighted and humbled to call home, I look forward to sharing space, and a groan of pigeon pose contentment, with all of you.


Pura Vida, & Namaste,
Graham
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Getting Rooted with Muladhara

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Our thoughts and emotions are vibrations that move like a current through our subtle body.  Think of the physical body as what you can touch and see and your energy body as your subtle body: your vibration.  Chakras are points along the subtle body located at the physical counterparts of the major arteries, veins and nerves.  The Sanskrit word chakra means "wheel" or "turning" and the yogic concept refers to a vortex or whirlpool of energy.  There are seven main chakras in the body, each governing a different host of connections to one's health and harmony with self and environment.

 


Each of the seven chakras are governed by spiritual laws, principles of consciousness that we can use to cultivate greater harmony, happiness, and wellbeing in our lives and in the world.

- Deepak Chopra


Chopra shares the following information on our first chakra:

The First Center: The Root Chakra

 

The root chakra, known in Sanskrit as muladhara, is located at the base of the spine. It governs your most basic survival needs. When this chakra is clear and energy flows through it freely, we feel secure and confident that we can easily fulfill our needs. However, blockage in this area can cause us to feel anxious and worried.


The spiritual Law of Karma governs the first energy center. On the physical plane, every action you perform results in a corresponding reaction. To maximize the possibility that your actions generate evolutionary reactions, you can use your body as a choice determining instrument.


Consider the possibilities in front of you and listen to signals from your body. These sensations generating from the root chakra are either comfortable or uncomfortable. Your body evaluates every possible decision in terms of its likelihood to meet your needs for safety or increase the level of threat you experience.


The first chakra, which connects you with the earth, provides essential information as to the potential nourishment or toxicity that is available to you as a result of the actions you are taking.


If you are interested in chakra work and knowing more about these energy systems in the body, join us tomorrow, March 8th, at Yogalife Studios South for the first session of Asana & Acupuncture: The Root Chakra. We will draw awareness to the energy center, move through a stimulating practice, and rebalance with acupuncture.


Muladhara Chakra is the most instinctual of all the chakras and our survival center, and the center that connects us to the earth and to our ancestral past. When excessive, we often feel egotistical, a need to be in control, and a need to possess. When blocked, often a lack of confidence is present, or feelings of no direction or purpose.


Through an asana practice, we will move through postures that directly stimulate and work to balance out our root chakra. After finding a deep awareness of that energy center, we will settle into an extended savsana, where acupuncture points directly linked to our first chakra, namely the conception vessels, governing vessel, and kidney & bladder meridians will be administered.

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Featured Yogi of the Month: Suzi Bird

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This month we are featuring one of our very own Yogalifers, Suzi Bird.  You can check out her full bio here AND catch her at both our North and South studios weekly.  

Below she answers a variety of questions, both silly and soulful.  Namaste Suzi!


 I found Yogalife Studios because long time friend Sara Cueva found it and introduced me shortly after she started practicing there when it opened. I teach Tuesday and Thursday nights at south 8 and 9:30 and sunday mornings 9 and noon at north.  I've been at Yogalife for just under a year and have been with them solely because I just love everyone so much :) - Suzi

How did you get your yogic start? Who brought you to your first class, what was that like, and where was it?

My brother took my to my first real yoga class when he was living in Vancouver, it was a brand new hot yoga place. It just about killed me, but I felt so good after I had to go back the next day, and the day after, and the day after..........
Share a favourite quote, lesson, or teaching that inspires you.
If you're doing it right, it never gets easier.
What's your favourite music to practice to (or do you prefer silence!?)
I love listening to really uplifting music, stuff that just brings a smile to my face and makes me want to throw my hands in the air.  I listen to a lot of Faul, Xavier Rudd, DJ Drez.  I also like anything with a good sexy beat to it, Dr Toast, various house music and whatever else comes my way from Bastille to Ed Sheeran.
Your favourite books, yogi-inspired and fiction.
I love Jodi Picoult books.  My favourite yogi book is The Tree of Yoga by BKS Iyengar
Tell us about your first teacher training.
My first teacher training I lived in a tent in the desert next to the ocean.  It was 30 degrees during the day and 5 at night, it had some of the best food I have ever tasted in my life and there was a rattlesnake living under my tent!
Where's your favourite vacation spot?
My heart belongs to Chaig Mai Thailand
What is your favourite meal to make and share with friends?
I love to cook, anything, everything, for everybody.  My specialty is ribs or stuffed chicken.
Biggie or Tupac? haha
Tupac
What's the coolest experience you've ever had with a student?
When I first started teaching I had a karma class where only one student showed up.  I was really nervous but the one on one really showed me how much I really knew and we were able to laugh and have a lot of fun together for the hour.
What's your favourite pose/sequence/area of the body to work on?
As much as I hate working on hips and hamstrings it's where I need the most work, so I see the progress very clearly and it always feel like an accomplishment, even for the tiniest improvements.
Who inspires you?
My mom
What is your favourite festival to attend?
I have only been to Folk Fest, and that was only once.  I have always wanted to go to Wanderlust.
If you could study with one person who would it be and why?
I would love to spend more time with Meghan Currie.  She is just so free and playful and loveable she reminds me that I always need to live my life with child like abandon
What is the best concert you've ever been to?
New kids on the block.  I'm not even lying
Share your favourite self-healing practice.
A cup of tea, puppy kisses and a good book can always make any day feel better, but my mat is always there when I need it.  A soulful heart opening practice to some of my favourite tunes will always set me free
Where's the next place you want to travel?
The next place I would like to go is either Cuba or Argentina.
Share one of your life goals.
I would like to do the splits some day.  As a kid I always wanted to, and as an adult I can now see how to get there.
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5 Energizing Pranayama Techniques

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"Each breath in is a new chance to let Life flow through you, to let go of resistance to the moment, to cultivate compassion for yourself and others."


Adapted from Michelle Margaret at Elephant Journal

A few months ago we filled you in on the point of pranayama, the beautiful practice of breathwork.  Pranayama is a sanskrit word meaning extension of breath or life force.  It is broken down into prana, meaning life force or vital energy, and yama, meaning control.  Breathing is the essential key to yoga and even five minutes of pranayama creates immense focus and centering.  Here are five energizing pranayama techniques!

 

1. Alternate Nostril Breath

Alternate Nostril Breathing is traditionally done in a seated, cross-legged meditation posture, though it’s fine to sit in a chair if you’re not comfortable on the floor. In either case, sit up with a tall spine and relaxed face and shoulders.

 

The mudra (hand position) is done with the right hand. Fold the index finger and middle finger down to touch the palm. Begin with the thumb lightly closing your right nostril. Inhale through the left nostril, to the count of four, six or eight. Hold the breath in for four, six or eight seconds. Then, lightly close your left nostril with your ring finger and release the thumb from your right nostril. Exhale through the right side. Inhale again through the right side. Retain the breath here in the middle only if you feel comfortable doing so. Exhale through the left.

 

That is one cycle.

 

To summarize: inhale left, exhale right, inhale right, exhale left. Optionally retain the inbreath in and the outbreath out. Continue for five cycles or more. You can work up to doing this breath exercise for five or more minutes at a time.

 


Alternate Nostril Breathing works like a charm to clear and calm the mind. It’s a terrific technique to incorporate at the beginning and/or end of your yoga session.


 

2. Bumblebee Breath

 

Use your fingertips to lightly cover your closed eyelids. Using your thumbs, close your ears. Inhale deeply through the nose and as you exhale, let out a long, low humming sound. With the eyes and ears closed, the hum will reverberate in your head and sound like a buzzing bee. Repeat three, four, or more times.

 

As you do this breath exercise, bring your inner gaze to the third eye, the point between your eyebrows. The Bumblebee Breath is purported to calm the mind and inspire new creative ideas.  Next time you are feeling overstimulated or uninspired, give it a shot.

 

3. Dog Breath (a.k.a. Breath of Fire)

 

You need to get in touch with your inner child for this one. (It’s great for kids yoga, as is Bumblebee Breath.) For Dog Breath, pant like a dog, first through the open mouth. Then, close your mouth and continue the panting breath through the nose. Do two sets of thirty seconds each, pausing between the sets and taking deep breaths.


This technique brings oxygen to the brain and help you wake up and feel more alert.


 

4. Ocean Breath

 


“You and I are all as much continuous with the physical universe as a wave is continuous with the ocean.”

~ Alan Watts


Ocean breath is super simple and calming yet energizing. Take deep, slow, long, active inhales and let the exhale out naturally and passively. Close your eyes and notice how this creates a sound like the waves in the ocean.

 

5. Just Sit

 


“There is no success or failure, no great place you are going. You are “just sitting.” To wander, to obsess, to lust—you get a flavor of the mind, a direct meeting. Without acting on any of the thoughts, you get to see how they rise up and—if you’re lucky–pass away. Sometimes we get stuck. You get to observe the nature of being stuck.”

~ Natalie Goldberg


Simple breath awareness is an excellent meditation technique.  As you breathe consciously through the nose, recall that this magnificent function has been with you since the moment of your birth and will be with you until your final exhale of this precious life.

 

Have any questions about Pranayama or all things “breath?” Feel free to contact us at info@yogalifestudios, or get in contact with our Exquisite Breath expert, Brittany Rudyck!

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Wellness, Zen Habits & Inspiration Mathew Janzen Wellness, Zen Habits & Inspiration Mathew Janzen

We Are Not Here to "Fix" Each Other

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Adapted from Kate Bartolotaon

 


“If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.” ~ E.B. White


Most mornings as I wake up, a large part of my heart longs to save the world, to heal hurts, to fix people where they are broken.

Maybe I'm too sensitive. I think I was absent the day they taught how to do that whole “close your heart off” thing because I don’t seem to be able to do it.

 

When I was a child, I hated being in crowded places; being near so many people dealing with difficult emotions overwhelmed me. I was much happier curled up with a book.

 

As I got older, I found ways to deal with it, to deal with all of the emotions bouncing around from people, to deal with all of the anger, the sadness, the pain in the world. I drank. Experimented with drugs. And even used simpler things to push it away, to distance myself, to not feel all of the world’s pain. I needed to stop seeing it because the fact that I couldn't fix it hurt so much.

 

As I grew up, I sought out careers instinctively that afforded me the opportunity to help others. I taught. Volunteered in an AIDS hospice. Worked with Habitat for Humanity, Oxfam, Foodshare. Used my spare time from my jobs that paid the bills to do work that made a difference. Yet, it never seemed like enough; that drive to fix things was still there like a permanent ache in my chest.

 


When my vocation shifted toward health and healing and I entered massage school, I realized something striking and nearly quit. As I would touch people, I’d feel where they were hurting and it took my breath away. I could feel their brokenness stuck in their elbows that wanted to hug tightly to their sides. I could feel the shame in the small of their backs. I could feel the profound sadness stuck in their shoulders, tears that needed to melt away and be shed.


I didn’t think I could take it. How could I work on people day in and day out and feel their pain, yet live with the fact that I could never completely fix it?

It’s taken me years to realize this one true thing: We are not here to fix each other.

 

Recently, I was giving a friend an impromptu acupressure session. I would get to a spot on each of his arms, and the deep sadness I felt there made me get choked up and want to pull away. At the same time, it made me want to solve it, fix it, tell him why life was beautiful. Tell him not to be so sad. We talked about it, and he acknowledged what I noticed. I fumbled for something to say or do that would make it go away. Seeing someone I care about experience pain ripped me up inside, and I wanted to make it better.

 

But I couldn’t. I can’t. And more importantly, I shouldn’t. It isn’t for me to do.

 


We look at the drive to save the world as something noble or heroic, and maybe it is to a certain extent. We look at the idea of Tikkun Olam, or healing the world, and set out on a quest to save the world, but I think we often get it wrong.


 

I’ve been getting it wrong for years.

 

If I look at you and see your sadness, I can’t cover it or make it go away. I cannot fix you. There is no magical Utopia where everyone is happy and whole. But that isn’t the end of the story. This is the place where cynics give up hope and decide that all is futile.

 

But I’m not a cynic. I believe we are hard-wired to care for each other. It’s why we are here: If there was a place to get to where everyone was happy and whole, we’d stop making art. There would be no music. There would be nothing left to write about. It would be a flat, expressionless existence instead of the one precious life we have.

 


The struggle is where we find the beauty.


People aren’t problems to solve. It’s not my job to fix anyone, but to love them. The heart can stretch to hold all things - even the difficult things. When it breaks, the point is not to reach out to each other and patch it closed again, but instead to fill each other. We don’t need to pretend each other’s darkness doesn’t exist or push it away.

 

And so I’m done. I surrender. I’ll say to the world:

 


I am not a hero; I cannot fix you. I am not strong; I cannot save you. I am weak; I cannot melt the frozen, broken places in you. I am insufficient; I cannot heal your pain. But I have hope, because I can do much more than that.


 

I can love you.

We need to seek out people who do not want to fix us. We need to seek out those who want to love us unconditionally while we fix ourselves.

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The Only 10 Guidelines You Need to Practice Yoga

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Adapted from Hilary Phelps, MindBodyGreen

 

Whether you're just starting into your yoga practice or a seasoned veteran, it's nice to check in with a simple set of guidelines to remind yourself why you're practicing.  Personally, I always like to remind my students that we call it just that: a PRACTICE!  It is truly meant to be fun and simple and by no means perfect or stressful.  Here's a list of guidelines to ensure the most enjoyable experience your mat can provide.

 

1. Arrive a few minutes before the start of class.

Give yourself enough time to select your space and get settled on your mat.  If you're feeling rushed or stressed as you come into the studio just bring awareness to that and take some extra deep breaths.

 

2. Listen to your body.

Each and every yoga class is yours. The person on the next mat has a different life story, so make sure you do your class and not theirs.  Beware of judgement and comparison, your practice will go exactly the way it was intended to!

 

3. Remember that every class is different & you're different in every class.

Every practice will be different and each time you arrive on your mat there will be new opportunities and challenges!  That practice you had yesterday or last week is not the practice you may have today.  I often find my mat is an indication of where I am in my day. If I'm scattered and distracted, it will show up in my practice.

 

4. Be present.

No phone, no computer, no mental grocery list making. This is your time. Enjoy it.

 

5. If you're new or have an injury, let the teacher know.

This awareness helps them teach as much as it helps you practice.  Know your limits and stay within them.  NEVER practice from a place of physical pain.

 

6. Have fun. It's just yoga!

Who cares if you fall? It makes no difference if you choose child's pose over downward dog. (Also, see #2 above.)  Many poses share similar benefits so you don't need to force yourself into anything.  By engaging in mindful breathing you are practicing yoga!

 

7. Smile.

This is your time.  That's a really good feeling.

 

8. Focus on calming breaths.

There are some days where I lay down for the final relaxation and my mind is still racing. When this happens, I don’t get up and leave. Instead, I count my breaths in and my breaths out, each to a count of six. My mind isn’t completely still, but it’s better to focus on calming breaths than remind myself, over and over, of a task I have to complete later in the day.

 

9. Find a yoga style that you enjoy.

There are different types of yoga: heated, traditional, vigorous, and restorative. One class will hold a pose longer, building strength, while others flow through a sequence quickly, elevating your heart rate. Find one that you enjoy or that perfect weekly mix.  It's about consistency, not style.

 

10. If you don't like one style of yoga or you don't click with a certain teacher, find another one.

There truly is a practice for everyone. Each teacher is unique, with a distinct teaching style, voice and practice.  For me, yoga channels my busy mind and allows me to tap in under my skin.  I leave feeling renewed, inspired and connected.  When I practice with my regular teachers these outcomes are the most apparent because they guide me so effortlessly.

 


From contentment unsurpassed happiness is obtained.

Patanjali's Sutra 2.42


Keep practicing, keep smiling, keep ON!

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Workshops Workshops

Namaste Patrick!

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Over the past few days Yogalife Studios North and South hosted a series of workshops led by Patrick Creelman, Whistler-native/Hong Kong-residing yogi extraordinaire!  These classes, entitled "Strength and Intelligence", taught us totally new ways to our old tricks.  We learned a refreshed intelligence that got us out of our comfort zones and into our bodies, upside down and backwards included!  

Here are some of the highlights from the sessions.

 

Jenn sets up in standing half lotus.

 

...and flips it upside down!

 

Caren demonstrates this different approach to handstand prep that we practiced tons.

 

Caitlin gets an assist in pincha mayurasana.

 

Getting creative with hanumanasana.

 

From the entire Yogalife community, thank you for sharing these past few days with us Patrick.  Stay tuned for next year!  Namaste.

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35 Day Yoga Tour Challenge: Tips and Tricks

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With our next 35 Day Yoga Tour Challenge kicking off on February 17,  we wanted to share some tips and tricks to not only ready you for this amazing undertaking, but to ensure you get the most out of it!  You can learn all about the challenge here but essentially by signing up at Yogalife Studios South or North you are committing to completing 30 classes in 35 days.  10 out of 30 classes have to be Non-Hot Flow style classes and workshops  count for 2 (there's your first hot tip!)

 


We want you to see what we have to offer; to get out of your comfort zone... or maybe more in it with a restore and renew class; to explore different styles and teachers while submerging yourself in your practice.


 

If you've never done a yoga challenge before it can seem a little daunting but it's all about intention and integrity (and maybe a little time management!) Know that you deserve a daily practice and the benefits show up almost immediately. It becomes this thing that you crave... you NEED! To commit an hour to yourself (almost) every day is a simple, beautiful gift.

 


TIP 1: SET AN INTENTION FOR YOUR CHALLENGE:

Know why you're on your mat.

Connect with that purpose every time you arrive.

Mindfully choose how you are using your energy.

Feel guided by your own fire.

find more info on intention here!


 

Every Yogalifer wants to support you in this journey.  We have all completed challenges of our own and thrive off seeing others come down this path.  You will get to know us from our classes, workshops and interactions around the studio.  In yoga we call this KULA... community!

 


TIP TWO: LET EVERYONE AROUND YOU KNOW YOUR GOALS

Reach out to your instructors and fellow yogis.

Share your intention and goals for the challenge.

Connect with fellow yogis to make yoga dates.

Celebrate your excitement with EVERYONE!


As you get into the groove of this near-daily commitment, make sure you are taking the proper steps to stay healthy, rested and hydrated. We are offering a juice cleanse option along with the challenge; an amazing way to compliment your practice and heighten your health.  In general, staying hydrated and choosing to practice without pain are two of the most important things you can do... always!

 


TIP THREE: TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF NO MATTER WHAT

Always listen to your body and choose rest (in your practice AND life) when you need it.

Drink water like it's going out of style.

Eat clean!  Honour your body and give yourself the upper hand for this challenge.

Educate yourself on your options: juicing, vitamins, cleanses.


I'll never forget my first 30 day hot yoga challenge...  there were days that I couldn't fathom leaving my bed, let alone PRACTICING!  So those days I would take all the child's poses I needed, an early savasana, and made sure I communicated to my instructor that I would be that girl who looked half asleep but was definitely breathing.  I was forced out of my comfort zone because I had made a commitment to myself.  There was no bowing out for me and holy heck did it pay off.  I think it was around day 9 that I actually saw colours brighter... stuff tasted better, sounded better, made more sense and fed me in ways I never knew imaginable.  The best part of the whole thing...?  I DID IT!

 

Once you're in it, you're IN IT.

 

We can't wait to see all your beautiful faces in our classes, filling up our hallways and our ears with your excitement and intention.  If you have any questions or hesitations around this commitment, drop us a line!  info@yogalifestudios.ca

 


“Be a lamp to yourself. Be your own confidence. Hold on to the truth within yourself as to the only truth.” ~ Buddha   


 

 

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Wellness, Zen Habits & Inspiration Mathew Janzen Wellness, Zen Habits & Inspiration Mathew Janzen

Self-Love Revolution!!! Eliminate This Word From Your Vocbulary!

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Adapted from Sheryl Paul:

These are statements we often hear throughout the year from friends and family:

 


I should attend that function tonight.

I should feel more excited to see my partner.

I should feel happier over the holidays.

I should spend more time practicing mindfulness.

I should eat better foods.


 

You can probably discern the common word: should. As soon as a "should statement," is made, it signals that someone is suffering from an externally imposed expectation, and inevitably comparing her or himself to a cultural ideal of "good" or "right" behavior.

 

Let's take the statement: I should feel more excited to see my partner. We carry a cultural idea that says that if you're away from your partner and not pining for him or her, it's an indication that something is wrong or missing from the relationship. Our minds then go to: I'm not in love enough, or I'm with the wrong person, and the anxious spiral begins.

 


But you can see that the anxiety originates from a "should" statement, which, again, in an indicator that you're holding yourself to an external standard of "right" feelings or behaviour. There are no right feelings in relationships; there is only what works for the two of you.


 

Let's explore another "should" statement: I should spend more time practicing mindfulness. While mindfulness is proven to increase well-being, if you're practicing mindfulness because you "should" do it and not because you truly want to do it, you'll quickly find the practice dwindling away into a sea of self-created resentment as you resist what's good for you because you now feel controlled by your own externally imposed requirements for being a "better" person!

 

Since so many people grew up listening to a litany of rules, when the word "should" infiltrates into your own running commentary, you will likely respond to yourself the same way you responded to your well-meaning caregivers and authority figures: with resistance (since no one want to feel controlled).

 

And yet another "should" statement: I should attend that function tonight. A few weeks ago, a friend of mine was invited to a holiday function at her husband's company. She hadn't had a day off from work in weeks and she was exhausted, but she felt obligated to attend because she knew it was expected and her husband would feel disappointed if she declined. "I just want to go home and have a hot bath," she told me. "

 

So why don't you?" I asked. "That's clearly what you really want to do."

 

But her sense of should-derived guilt overrode her heart's desire and she ended up attending the event, then picking a fight with her husband on the way home (I imagine this sounds familiar to many of you). Since she wasn't able to find a way to attend with true good will, I'm sure her husband would have preferred to deal with his own disappointment rather than spend the evening with a wife who didn't want to be there.

 

Can you imagine how much more lovingly she would have received her husband when he returned home had she spent the evening lovingly attending to her own needs?

 


What's essential to understand is that actions derived from "shoulds" aren't loving to anyone.


Since my friend attended the function because she was trying to be a "good" wife, she was betraying not only herself but also her partner. Now, this isn't to say that there aren't times when we do need to assess the greater good and put our individual needs aside—especially in marriage—but when we repeatedly ignore our "inner no" to please others, the results are ultimately disastrous.

 


To heal from the addiction to should, start to notice how often the word populates your self-talk, and then notice how you feel inside when you fall prey to believing the should statement. When you hear the word should, ask, What would be most loving to myself and others right now?

Then listen closely for the answer.


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